when ppl told u..

this is the story..

hmm.. my opinion in this case is, we shouldn't punish the kid when we didn't witness the happening. what ppl told us can be the true story, but they might not know the reason behind of the negative behaviour. maybe, our kid wants to tell us the true feeling or actual story. but are they given the chance to do so?

1st, when we listen to ppl story the we punish our kid, then the kid might have 2 thought - mummy trust other ppl n hurt me; the CCTV (the story teller) sells me. trustworthy seems to be challenged.

2nd, why don't we 1 to 1 talk to the kid, let her has the chance to voice out her feeling n why she wanted to do naughty stuff? dislike something? hate someone? this is the great chance for us to know our kid feeling n inner heart, n at the same time, we get bonding, the kid feel the respect n care from the mummy n understand mummy feeling - sad, hurt when they are naughty.

3rd, in the future, the kid will get smarter, avoid CCTV when acting bad, so no story for CCTV to tell the mummy, so mummy won't punish me. as parent, we will slowly lose story from outsider about what our children doing when we r not around. then slowly, we lose the connected connection.

there is always some reason for children to act naughty, some reasons are acceptable n in fact, they are doing good thing, but the outcome seem to be negative to us.

eg pour a cup of water for granny who is coughing, accidentally the kid break the cup, n all mess up. if we come in at this stage, we might say 'how many times I told u don't come here n play with water? u see!' then the kid being canned.

well what I am trying to say is, when our children doing naughty at outside, we might lose face, feel embarrassed. but don't lose children trust to us, don't let them feel parents are not approachable, parents don't trust n understand me. try not to lose the chance for children to share with us any happy or sad stories, n even naughty ideas! sometime naughty ideas = creative thinking. don't u think so? as long as we don't hurt ppl n our own then it should be fine.

when my parents or brother complain to me how naughty my baby did when i was not around, how serious they punish them, I always bring my kid to the room, lock the door, switch off the light, let baby sit on my lap, n start the one to one heart talking counselling session. if the child being canned, I apply healing cream on the small wound, n tell the baby, this must be very hurt, mummy's feeling hurt too, u shouldn't do this, n try not to give chance for others to hurt your body by being a good baby. u should protect yourself. sometime, u get this 'mummy, I was naughty lo, so grandma get angry, I go to say sorry to grandma ya' :)

we would prefer our boss to talk to us, listen to us, before the boss downgrade us right? :p ya, mid year performance evaluation time, today is my 1-1 session :)

good luck mummies~