confused

suddenly, I have the feeling of directionless.. in the office and in my marriage..


in the office, everything seems alright, I work hard, I got recognition, then boss trusted me, then putting more responsibility on my shoulder. I welcome new challenge, I am so much into learning new experience and knowledge. but, would this make my other officemate not comfortable with me? i am now in the middle, to take or not to take, to fight in the workload war with full passion and spirit or to slow down? before I entering a people relationship war. hmmm... I am not here to compete with others, I just want to challenge my yesterday me.



I always have the thought, I would leave the role when everyone likes me. I don't like to leave a place, because people or the environment dislike me. find way to balancing this feeling imbalance.

talking about my marriage. everything seems so right. a living of husband and wife with 3 lovely children. when things gone routine, day in day out has become habit and ordinary, then passion missing. passion of creating sparkle in love relationship, passion of bringing children more excitement and new experience. the level of caring and understanding to other person has reduced. assumption of one's feeling always occur as we think we know the person well. so, when assumption gone high, talking lesser, clarification lesser, communication seems not important anymore. when the serious talking take over, then the feeling seems so tense and voice tone getting higher. then heart become more emptier after the not feeling good communication.




am I requesting too much? or the need of love is too demanding? too sensitive? as I shared with my sister, she said 'aiya, we also like that la..' or many other couples gone though this when years in marriage increased? sometime I just feel like, woman take care of household, make sure children need have well taken, to give a not so pressure and noisy environment for husband to rest at home after a day of tiring office work. when come to late night, putting on the blankets for children, switch off the light when husband is snoring.. then we are either smile in happiness or feeling lonely when thinking of, I take care everything well, I put in my family schedule in my schedule, but, is there anyone understand what I want? is there anyone care to ask 'how are you?' sincerely. or this is normal to all the mummy out there? or this is why people always say, mother is so great. mother takes care everything by putting herself aside. hmm just wonder..



well, as I always believe good attitude towards life, can bring us to higher level of satisfaction and success. so continue to be me, continue to do what I feel good. maybe I will get my deserved rewards at the end of the journey :)






good day!