Wednesday, September 26, 2012

all in sudden

lately, all sorts of old old memories come to me unexpectedly and bring me to the not-so-feeling-good memory lane then bring me fear, tears, helpless... then myself to comfort, to overcome, to make myself get up and continue the everyday.

ppl always say when those old old ppl before leaving this beautiful world, they have all old time memories come to them to let them refresh the whole life once more. I got 20s, 10s memories refresh at age of 33, so, is the expiring date coming?



these few days, the need of laogong companion is very strong. he goes out at night for banking transaction or petrol station, I feel unsecured. I am afraid of losing him. working days, I message him to dinner with me, I ask him to come back early. of course, he has his plan and schedule. he does not turn up, I stay quiet. I don't know why I feel lost, because of I am moving back to my mum's house or this is a need from my inner heart. am I leaving somewhere?



last night I cried for old memory. I was in fear and darkness. then I felt relief and wait for the morning broken.


dawn, royee came to me and told me he was feeling not well. I touched him, he was in fever. laogong forced him to take medicine, royee cried and didn't want to go to the day care and the school. I chose to stay at home and take care of him. I don't know if I still have balance annual leave to spend, but I just can't leave the boy alone..

I take emergency leave, so royee can continue resting. and I have slot to get my heart a rest. eyes are swollen too @_@



happy Wednesday ^^ sudden off day, maybe I just get myself to be in world of handmade :)




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