hmm.. today, i feel confused. myself made me confused. my thinking, i need time n space to figure out, my thinking, my attitude, my bahaviour. sometime i do ask myself, am i doing things right? who can judge me? or only my feeling would give the judgement.
talking about charity or voluntary jobs. for those ppl who go for voluntary jobs with sincere heart, they may get inspired after the activity. for ppl who doing charity works for some purpose, they may get negative feeling after the trip. or maybe, they may change to be more sincere at the next charity work. in my thinking, ppl who dont think on ppl shoes or accept different ppl background, wont have the full hearted on voluntary or charity jobs. somehow, u would be selfish at 1 point. i hope, educational level that u r achieving, is going to help u to be a better behavioured man. not the attitude that gonna shut ppl mouth coz ppl dont feel to talk to u. let ppl shut their mouths coz u have your point, n they are speechless to fight back. look at the issue from different angles, the outcome may bring u different answers.
today i feel very tired, in fact, this morning in the journey to to office, i have this non stop coming into my mind 'am i too busybody? am i forcing ppl or convincing ppl to follow my thinking or say? am the ppl who are talking to me everyday, put me into their hearts? if my words, really give impact to them?...' i found myself losing confidence recently. confidence to be a good person who i thot it suppose to be. hmmm.. need to upgrade my knowledge, broader my thinking and experience, an academic certificate doesnt mean u r knowledgeble or qualified to understand ppl feeling or handle the situation better. pls remember this. dont be selfish. these few days, 'selfish' popping up in my days, 'why u r acting like that, selfish' 'why u doing this? selfish' hmmm.. or maybe, am too sensitive for everything. yes, everything. so i feel tired.
well.. let's stop here. wanna pack my things n take train to putrajaya, n drive to klia airport to pick u up. been sitting here, reading a local very porfessional photographer's blog, hmm i got inspired. proud of him to build house for children in need during his very tight schedule n at his level.. i think, i found myself back. i think, i have been doing my things n am acting rights. at least, i feel happy n i agree what he doing is good for ownself, ppl, n society. confused for the whole day, i get myself released now ^_^ u can be rich, u can be educated, u can have power n authority, pls have a attitude that EVERYONE can easy to get close with u or at least, an attitude that can let ppl RESPECT u as who u r.
