choc day in the office~

got this on my table this morning. an entreprise department open day. we got free kit kat makan :p

i got this gift from hotlink employee contest. nice box!

red. hotlink relaunching program. more rewards!

inside the box

gold medal choc. olympic feel :p

when angel is sleeping...

eva buaikan angel. she acted like adult to sleepkan angel. felt funny to see her laying down n tangan tak cukup panjang. before this video clip, when eva heard angel crying, she ran to the room, like very kanjiong one. then sit down n buai angel. sooooooo cute!!!

eva disturbing angel, when she found out angel woke up already :p

habis angel. 'playing' by royee n eva :~

LOVE - from sis's post

爱～永远会想办法满足而不让心肝宝贝伤心难过

love - forever finding ways to satisfy your babe and dont let your babe sad

被爱～幸福包围而招架不住然而感到惭愧接受因为你是被爱的

beloved - surrounded by happiness and feel guilty to accept the ocean deep love

姐之录 ～ ［永远别跟家人吵翻，因为＇家＇永远是你的避风港而家人永远不会嫌弃你］

sis's quote - dont ever fight with your family, becouse 'home' is always your hiding place and family members would never ever leaving u

其他的家庭，我不清楚。 我只知道我非常的有幸出生在这家庭，当我爸妈的孩子和当我兄姐的妹妹，因为我感到我是个宝，他们永远会捧在手心的宝。

i donno about other family, i am so lucky to born in this family, to be my parents child, and to be my siblings' sister, because i got myself is a jewel, a jewel that always handle with care in their hands

- by pooh -

i love this. i hope my sis can really feel the love of the all of us. together with bruce. i hope one day, my sis n bruce can love their children as how our parents love us. we can only be good to ourselves, behave well, and work hard for better future to pay back our parents love. what parents want is not the money pay back from us, coz we would never ever can pay the money n the LOVE they contributed to us. we can only taking good care of ourselves, and be happy, n love our own n family.

am still, feeling warm n touched the way my mum fight for us, n the RM50K sponsorship from my dad for bkt31 house renovation. my mum lose her new car and japan trip because of this. my dad, i still remember the softness and smile in his eyes when he said this 'take the money, i dont want both of u worried about the spending, pls tell yushi, no more gifts from me for her chinese wedding ceremony. this rm50K, u all take it n make good use of it' the smile, his smile made me feel so touched n tears drop. it is not the rm50k, it is LOVE. i can feel the very strong wave of the ocean deep love when he asked me come, n talked to me all this. feel super happy for this, feel guilty for this.

papa n mama, i love u all! for the yesterday family gathering for yushi's marriage registration, papa put aside his busy schedule of his business, be so cooperative with our plans, greeting cards, makan makan, checked thru all the gifts that we gonna give. am so appreciate n thanks for your LOVE! i want to learn this from u all, n let my children feel the same in the future. as i always say, children with family support n love, are confident to meet the challenges in life. they are more happier, they think openly, they talk louder, they accept challenges, they are move lovely! they dont be jealous, they dont fight with others. coz they have support n everything from their family! so what else they wanna fight for?

i love my family! very really much! each of u. papa mama gogo digo mehmeh ^_^

and i am hoping, 1 day in the future, my shonejay angels can feel the same like what i am feeling now. be thankful ^_^

NOW!

this morning my colleague told me, her fren just dilivered a baby boy, normal delivery, then mummy n baby were safe. then dont know what's the cause, the mummy got bleeding, then drain out! then transfer blood to her body, now still in koma. afraid some of the body organs have gone no oxygen. this morning, have to go for another operation, to remove her womb. now, they suspect the womb was not kecut after the baby being delivered. this is the 2nd pregnancy, 1st bb boy is only 1 year 7 mth. feel very sad n shock to her this. it is not easy to deliver a baby, for a mother, she uses her own life to born another new life. gambling.. we dont know what's gonna happen when mothers r in labour room.. good or sad.. i hope, my colleague's friend, can get well after this. the children need her. n she, should be given the chance to stay with her own babies..

all for pooh n bruce ^_^

celebration for bruce n my sis's engagement for Tiew's family ^_^

ah-mak, papa, mama, kai-ma, gogo, da sao, digo, me, bruce, pooh, royee, angel, eva

(without u :~)

at banting bukit jugra beggar's chicken shop

sharing the pic n video clips on myfm bday celebration at genting

bruce n my kai-ma

my grandma n royee

cute cute royee boy n my digo

pooh n bruce - the married couple

'opening ceremony' by papa n mama

angelina~~

angel + pooh + bruce

beli durians.. superb!!

unwrapping gifts from siblings~

the card for them..

words from all of us..

pooh + wishes + golden ear rings from papa n mama

ps: no pic for eva n kakak, as they sit next to me, forgot to snap pic of them :(

got this reply sms from my sis.. "yaya i luv the gifts. let u all po4 fei le.. juz now i told bruce remember that u all ask him take good care of me, he said at that moment, he want to reply to u all that 'wo shenme dou hui zuo4 dao, zhi you yi yang zuo bu dao, na4 jiu shi wo bu neng rang yu shi slim xia lai, wo hui rang ta fei fei pang pang de' hehe" (everything i also can manage to do it, there is only 1 thing i cant be able to make it, there is to let yeeseew get slimmed down, i will let her fat fat white white).. hehhee i felt so touched n warm to read this.. my sincere wishes to them, happy wedding n loving each other, now n forever..

MYfm at genting highlands

the bus left at 1pm sharp! impressed!

the poster at genting


passing time at the garden



the VIP ticket

party time!

pic with MY-fm express (ppl grab the tickets at the back)

DJs n lil' MY on the stage

我结婚了！

hey happy 080808!! zhugong, am so excited rite now. last nite i couldnt sleep well, coz non stop thinking of my sis gonna get married today. ya, so happy for her! my sms to her at 08/08/2008 00:08 'an opening to the chapter of ever after :D congrates n enjoy this meaningful day of your life :D best wishes n best love to u n your beloved one :D '

mms that i received just now. they are now in klang hokkien association waiting for the big event. last nite i told my sis, the wedding gift am gonna give her is the express bus ticket to genting which cost rm8.30. then my sis said, no, all the expenses at genting gonna be on u! yes i dont want to let her know my preparation for her BIG day, i said no, only the bus ticket. then she said, am gonna to post in my blog, said 'my sis given me RM 8.30 GIFT for my wedding!'

hor! she is so bad oooo.. she didnt know that i also got contribution of the pooh flower bouquet ler. bruce called me n asked where to buy the little pooh. then i told him few places to look for it, then i also went around aeon bukit tinggi klang to look for pooh n contact bruce which shop have it ler. all on my sick leave ok! betul betul sick one, ok! by the way, am so happy for bruce to have the great idea on it!! great effort too, as he said, 'har? want to go one-utama ar? already went to many places already oooo' kekekee..

'我的手花美吗？'

' 我以为他没买手花，原来还有惊喜，最重要的是POOH来的！哈！很可爱，很喜欢！呵呵'

bruce sent me these photos. i found them soooo cute! only left 5 for the bigger pooh. then he asked me how? i said make it 8 lo. try to mix it. he said, where got ppl give 8 one. i said, 080808 ma.. 'u just simply say this to her la' kakakak.. i found this funny, bruce said 'why only left 5? why not 6? at least is half dozen ma..' i told him, dont make the flower bouquet too big, later my sis felt tired to carry it, then for sure she would raise her temper one.. hahahaha..

i found funny to see the lighter. as i told him, u dont only take pic of the pooh, u must let me know about the size. then lighter came out.. kekeke

loving pairs~

tomolo me n sis will go genting highlands for myFM 10 anniversary concert. this sunday tiew's family will have makan makan at bukit jugra beggar's chicken restaurant. welcome bruce as new member to tiew's family! hehehe.. surprises r coming up to my sis.. i want to let her know, my 'rm8.30 bus ticket' is gonna be her unforgettable wedding gift ^_^

happiness paradise

大象长长的鼻子正昂扬 全世界都举起了希望

孔雀旋转着碧丽辉煌 没有人能够永远沮丧

河马张开口吞掉了水草 烦恼都装进它的大肚量

老鹰带领着我们飞翔 更高更远更需要梦想

告诉你一个神秘的地方 一个孩子们的快乐天堂

跟人间一样的忙碌扰攘

有哭有笑当然也会有悲伤 我们拥有同样的阳光

last nite i sang this song for royee.. then my tears drop. before that, my eyes got wet, royee was staring at me. then when i finished the song, he asked me 'ni wei shen me ku?' (why u cry?) hmm in fact, i also donno why i cry. i said 'mummy is tired. then bb are naughty. always dont listen to mummy. 1 loves to pull friends down n throw diapers to the toilet bowl. 1 loves to crying for nothing, so noisy. 1 loves to pull down all the sofa seats. always dont listen to grandpa grandma. made kakak felt so tired. made mummy felt sad...' then royee kept quiet there. then he came close to me, n kissed my lips. then said 'mummy, we sing songs la' :)

the little boy. that's why ppl always say, no matter what your children have done. good or bad. just a simple action or few words, can make your heart melt. then everything seems to be alright. what he did in the afternoon, threw the diapers to the toilet bowl. my mum, kakak, n i trying to dig it up with this n that. dirty up ourselves. i drove out to banting town, looked for something that can solve this problem from 5 hardware shops. traditional hardware shops. hmmm everything for children, mummy can do it. choosing the steel wire with the uncle. the thick one. then asked his help to bend it for me.. rm2.40. went back home, kakak helped to dig, i hold the torch light. how dirty it was. got smell somemore. then finally, the heavy diaper is up, but yet, i need to use another penyepit from kitchen to take it. then finally, only fingers can close the case. i hold the shitty diapers with my hand :( can see royee face changed. hope he understood the reason we stopped him from throwing things to the toilet bowl. hold the diapers for few minutes, till kakak bring a plastic bag for me to throw it. then kakak wash the toilet. i went n wash my body....

laogong.. not easy to managing everything by my own.. quite tired for me to managing them, n at the same time, need to be busy for the new house, then need to please my parents n kakak (coz bbb are really naughty n energetic) then feel guilty for not bringing bbb to visit your parents. start checking kinder fee n day care center at klang, coz i need to check the budget. then am thinking also to bring children for music class, since they loves singing n dancing much. especially for royee. as my mum said, since your boy is happy with performing, then u can send him to right place to groom him. that's why, i want to move to bkt31 faster, at least, weekend i can send bbb to weekend classes without travelling far.

hope u can come back by the end of september. let us settle something here. i havent applied i-kad for kakak. i havent bought edu plans for bbb. i hope, more calls, more mails, more sms from u.. ^_^ miss u dearly.. i love u...

angels at aeon bukit tinggi klang

angel pulled the trolley near by and wanted to sit in the trolley. then kakak told me everytime when my mum brought them here, she uses the trolley to bring them. hehe..

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

am running report.. many reports to justify myself been working hard for this 0.5 year of 2008. hmmm.. i asked my supervisor, if we dont know how to justify our work, dont know how to fight for ourselves, means that we were not performing in the office? hmmm whatever, i dont want to be a duck, i want to be an eagle.. lets performing super well n prove to ppl, we r eagles!

"Stop complaining!Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd'' - Wayne Dyer

by the way, am thinking to stop working by year 2010, figuring out what can i do to earn money by working from home. i dont want to spend money for my transportation to the office, earn the salary, to pay the transportation fee for bbb to go to school (my colleague told me, her daughter private transport, rm120 every mth!) tuition class fees, maid, day care... hmmm it is ok for 1 child, if all the expenses to be times 3, wow! rm500 kinder monthly, pun sudah rm1500! hmmm.. unless, i can double up or triple up my salary now :p

ok.. let's stop here. continue preparing the info for my tomolo performance evaluation ^_^

singing time~

7 days in a week..

papa not in the house..

mouse steal oil... love his 'aiyo~!' keke

tomorrow is 080808

I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something

~ Helen Keller

plan to work early tomolo, so i can go back home early. then watch the 2008 china beijing olympic opening ceremony. see how la. hope bbb can sleep early tonite. n tak bising bising. last nite i was on mc, staying in the house, tiring ooo.. bbb non stop disturbing my sleep. kakak asked me to take medic, i said, 'kalau makan ubat sekarang, nanti mengantuk tapi tak dapat tidur' hmmm.. 8pm prepared them to sleep, they were too energetic. so i gave up. asked them to sit down the we sing n play games. playing london bridge is falling down, choo choo train, hammer hands, singing, dancing.. wow.. super dizzy! they were so enjoying! non stop laughing n kekekekke hahahha.. ok.. 9:30pm, semua kasik tidur.

after 'exercising' i felt fresh pula. called u n chat with u. 20 min, then the line cut off. took my medic, think of my sis gonna get married tomolo, so happy for her, then i called her up to ask about her preparation. hehehe can really feel she has mood for the marriage registration. as compared to last time, 'am not looking forward for 080808' :p this morning i received sms from her 'today is last day single, so, i want to tangkap boy to kiss liao. ho ho' kekeke still tak matured. this is my reply to her 'siao! hey after this u can have sex legally. having bb legally. talk loud loud bruce is mine! then u gonna change status to married. then pls be matured! hehehe' finally, my youngest sis getting married. kakak asked me if my sis gonna wear white gown on 080808, i told her, my sis? she said she wanna wear office wear to the ceremony ooo.. kakak pun gave me the BIG O look.. kekekeke...

thot to buy this for my sis n bruce. the quality tak ok

ok. am going for lunch at thai fair with my colleague. hmmm siam laksa, mango sticky rice, abc.. wow... tata~~

5pm update: just now i had thai laksa for my lunch. then packed a mango sticky rice n finished it during 3pm+ unofficial tea time :p hehhee yummy yummy~~~

rm5! compare to few years back rm2.50

mango sticky rice

just bought mango sticky rice from kl sentral thai fair. thinking of u. remember we were so enjoy eating mango sticky rice at serdang thai fair few years back. today i bought two sets. one for myself n one for my mum sharing with kakak. will ask recepi from my friend who went for thai cooking class. so next time i can make my own mango sticky rice during mango season :)

i miss u very much.. so much.. hope both of us get well soon. take care!

sunday..

7am+ woke up. dont want to waste sunday off day. i asked royee to wake my sis up to go ikea. then we prepared ourselves. while waiting for my sis, bbb playing with the bags.. while playing, royee was singing. angels smiling only, coz i didnt stop them from playing the bags :p before i leaving the house, eva looked very dissapointed, coz again, i left angels at home. my hati tak senorok. in my mind, i just hoping i can settle the new house soon, so we can go to bkt31 every weekend n holidays. then very fast, i can stay with them day n night.

gal gal, smile!

royee, smile!

went to bkt31 take the kitchen measurement. then drive to ikea. we said ikea. royee said ikiu. at 1st we thot he was teasing with it, mana tau, whenever he mentioned about ikea, he said ikiu. even we corrected him, he insisted ikea = ikiu :~ during the journey from klang to damansara, royee non stop singing. then he sang '7 days in a week' of course, he missed out few days. then my sis n i repeating sunday till saturday. then royee followed us. after that, he asked, 'so, how to sing it?' then both of my sis n i laugh out loud. we didnt expect he would ask this question. n of course, we didnt know how to sing it! kekeke.. funny..

breakfast at ikea. royee loves fried chicken wing. we took mihun goreng. lunch time at ikea, i took meatballs, my sis took chicken. royee being bullied by the little gangster there. after few times crying, i asked him to sleep. then he slept on my body. then we continue drawing the cabinet for kitchen. then i carried him to kitchen department. hmmm heavy.. wondering why i cant lose some weight, since almost every weekend i carry 15kg bb n shop for hours :p weight is still maintained. my back pain getting worse. hmmm

asked him to look at me, he did this.. the next post was cute, coz i tickled his neck! :p

playing at children area when sis n i busy planning our kitchen cabinet

dinner at subang hitech. the chinese restaurant you n i used to go. royee finished i small bowl of rice n a glass of leong cha. then we went to klang bukit raja lorenzo. supposed to confirm the marble 8 seats dining table, but then, we were not ok with the white leather chairs. hmm not easy to maintain them, especially we have little children. we went back home.

reached banting around 9pm. angel was sleeping. left only eva. shower royee, then sleepkan him. then i play with eva. then angel woke up.. hmmm playing with them. finally sleepkan angels. then nearly 11pm, i pun tidur.. sooooooo tired oooo...

i asked eva to let dora n barney sitting on the sofa. she arranged them. then she sat with them as well:)

meeting parents..

saturday morning. went out with my mum n royee boy. met my sis n bruce n his mummy at klang hokkien association. 4 of them siging the sijil perkahwinan. it made me think of our time, back to 22 oct 2003, when 2 of us sumpah at jabatan pendaftaran banting, witnessed by your papa n mama. time flies. now we have bbb. n my sis is getting married naer soon :) btw, did i tell u i have misplace my marriage certificate? pls look for me when u come back har :~

my sis do uu aa bo aa when 2 mama are signing the cert.. i like this pic, coz bruce is with smiley face :) so mian dian his smile.. kekeke..

080808 banner. can see little our little royee boy ma?

he was so cencentrating on the uncle operating the grass cutting machine..

slim mummy with slim son. chubby mummy with chubby daughter :p

after leaving klang hokkien association. we went for lunch at klang xuan gong cha siew rice. hmmm yummy yummy. during makan, came a ah-po (old woman) n sayang royee's head. she said in cantonese 'wahhh so pandai, boy boy can eat by his own. very tak-ee (adorable) pandai pandai. wish boy boy grow up fast n healthy. study well n jaga parents in the future. ah-po goes back first, u eat slowly har' then royee continued makan. my my mum said, children being praised by old ppl is very good one. ya, hope royee grow up happily n be a good boy :)

after lunch. we went to bkt31. ppl were doing the plaster ceiling. looked at ppl working hard, sweating, n in the dusty environment, i told my sis, the money that we paying out is worth. coz ppl earning money from their hard work. everything was running smoothly. quite ok, up to our satisfaction. the naughty royee, touching here n there. kicking here n there. soooo dirty him when we left the house.

went to aeon jusco bukit tinggi. my sis went for her baju, me n royee went to popular bookstore. i applied 3-years membership at rm25. bought some children books. when i got royee a floor puzzle, he said ok. then when the time i wanted to pay at the cashier counter, royee came to me with a relatively smaller box of books 'mummy, dont want to buy this la (pointing at the big floor puzzle box) this is big, very expansive, we buy this enough la (gave me the smaller box of 12 block books), this one expansive' when i compare the prices for the both product, hmmm the floor puzzle cost rm17 n the block books which is in the smaller box, cost me rm54.90. i explained to royee, the puzzle is cheaper. he couldnt understand it, he thot bigger size cost much higher. then i asked him, 'do u love these block books?' he said yes. then i bought 2 of them. actually the block books are cinderella, bambi, pocahantas, the little mermaid, snow white... 12 titles.

then we passed by a shop with many poster n clocks. then we spent hours inside there. my mummy helping us to jaga royee. n royee was busy with the books n thomas n friend toy (bought for him as he loves it). then after the shop, we went back to banting at 4pm+

mandi n rest for a while. sis n i went back to klang to see the plaster ceiling of bkt31. it was 6pm+ traffic jam. then we reached klang at 7:30pm. dark already. we couldnt make it to see the plaster ceiling (we wanted to make sure the depth of the ceiling drain) so we stopped at the furniture shops at bukit tinggi. great to see the wooden table that we love at macy was there! with 8 seats somemore. so if we cant can a very nice marble dining table, then we would buy this :) then we went to lorenzo klang bukit raja at 8:30pm. very nice furniture. spotted a marble table.. 5k+ wow... expansive..

dinner at bukit raja steamboat shop. then we discussed about the house, furniture... reached home at nearly 12am. watched the final of the million stars singing competition. slept at 2am+ hmmm...

fairy tale..

i hope, there is someone in this corner of the world,
every morning 'oh my dear pretty michelle, i miss u so much'
night time, 'oh my lovely beautiful michelle, how i wish i can kiss u good nite'

i told my friend, maybe we r in someone heart, who miss us day n night. ya i hope there is someone out there.. the special one.. ^_^

me..

allowed myself to online browsing for 45 minutes, go to sleep at 1am. hmmm now is 1:03am. will go to sleep after this post. craving for more longer private time for myself. the broadband service at cyberview resort is quite ok, so am so greedy to stay awake n do as much as i can with this service. bbb are sleeping with u. both u n royee are snoring. angels are angels for both of u, eva for u, angel for royee ^_^ sometime, i really have the feeling, angelina n evangeline are really twin angels for us. they are cute n beautiful! (opps.. stop for a while, your big body is covering eva's head..)

felt guilty about royee's went down in swimming pool just now. were busy taking care angels. royee was happily swimming with the swimming ring. suddenly heard his crying, n u were enjoying your jaguzzi :( my heart pains when he said 'wo de xin hen hai pa' (my heart feels very scared) with tears in his eyes :~ how sorry n guilty for me when he said 'yi zhi chen, yi zhi chen, chen, chen, chen, mei you kan dao mama liao, mei you mama liao..' (go down n go down, down n down n down, cant see mama already, no more mama already) was still blur on what he was trying to tell 'who cant see mama?' 'royee la' suddenly, i felt to cry. now only i know what was happening just now. at 1st i thot he slipped in the swimming pool so he cried. coz the pool was not deep. n he was with swimming ring. now when i think back what was happening just now, luckily he was ok, or else, i didnt know... hmmm... non stop i explained to him, just now u didnt stand firm, coz u were tired, u didnt sleep enough. so now u go n sleep, so tomolo u have energy to walk n swim, then u wont accidently fall down in the water. i just dont want royee to have fear of water. wanted to give him that thinking, he was careless coz he didnt sleep enough. he gave me the feeling that, he would not go for the same swimming pool again. this is the mind i am trying to change.

hard to erase someone fear. that day royee was having fear of the accident man who lose his eyes n legs. till now, if u mentioned 'dont do this har, later your leg would be broken har' then his face expression would change, he pauses a while. i dont want this, i dont like this. still looking for the parenting tips on this. now, another fear, sinking in the water 'many many many water come, come, come to me, cover me, mummy no more royee' hmmm i dont want no more royee, i want my royee boy! just now i hugged him on the bed when he was telling me this, hugged him tightly, with tears in my heart.. i know, the scene is still in his mind.. how to erase it off?

1:33am. better for me to sleep now. gonna busy with children in the morning. then go back banting at 12pm. meet the contractor at bkt31 at 5pm. must be very tired trip. u asked me, why u never use your skin care? hmm not that i dont use my skin care, i use them every day n night. the best skin care is to sleep much n drink much. i got enough time to sleep meh? i can sleep well meh? i would be very happy n find myself lucky if the midnight only 1 bb crying in the midnite. oh, thank god, not that 2 of them of 3 of them are crying for something... as i told u, i may consider to change my skin care product, to higher nutrition or super essense.. coz not easy to make my skin looks young ler, going to be age 30, then busy taking care bbb, then water piping in my body system seemed to be leaking. i drink a lot, but i feel dried! hmmm.. or my body age har, is not 29, 50 maybe :p

ok la, talk much. better sleep la.. btw, thanks for coming back. i felt touched when u said 'yala, seem like something big was gonna happen, if i didnt come back here' ok ok, once a while let me play the fierce demanding wife ok! i know u r busy in the office... i really miss u ma! somemore, children also need to see the actual papa when they are learning to call papa ok! kan sweet to hear when bbb non stop 'papa papa papa' u.. heehe.. i love u :p

in cyberview lodge

in the resort room. bbb are sleeping in the 7' king sized bed. u just finished eating 3 packs of potato chips. hmmm.. seldom eat junk food at foreign countries? ok.. whatever. talking about our children. ya, they grow up a lot. they know more things now.. cute cute hor..

empowerment

hmm.. today, i feel confused. myself made me confused. my thinking, i need time n space to figure out, my thinking, my attitude, my bahaviour. sometime i do ask myself, am i doing things right? who can judge me? or only my feeling would give the judgement.

talking about charity or voluntary jobs. for those ppl who go for voluntary jobs with sincere heart, they may get inspired after the activity. for ppl who doing charity works for some purpose, they may get negative feeling after the trip. or maybe, they may change to be more sincere at the next charity work. in my thinking, ppl who dont think on ppl shoes or accept different ppl background, wont have the full hearted on voluntary or charity jobs. somehow, u would be selfish at 1 point. i hope, educational level that u r achieving, is going to help u to be a better behavioured man. not the attitude that gonna shut ppl mouth coz ppl dont feel to talk to u. let ppl shut their mouths coz u have your point, n they are speechless to fight back. look at the issue from different angles, the outcome may bring u different answers.

today i feel very tired, in fact, this morning in the journey to to office, i have this non stop coming into my mind 'am i too busybody? am i forcing ppl or convincing ppl to follow my thinking or say? am the ppl who are talking to me everyday, put me into their hearts? if my words, really give impact to them?...' i found myself losing confidence recently. confidence to be a good person who i thot it suppose to be. hmmm.. need to upgrade my knowledge, broader my thinking and experience, an academic certificate doesnt mean u r knowledgeble or qualified to understand ppl feeling or handle the situation better. pls remember this. dont be selfish. these few days, 'selfish' popping up in my days, 'why u r acting like that, selfish' 'why u doing this? selfish' hmmm.. or maybe, am too sensitive for everything. yes, everything. so i feel tired.

well.. let's stop here. wanna pack my things n take train to putrajaya, n drive to klia airport to pick u up. been sitting here, reading a local very porfessional photographer's blog, hmm i got inspired. proud of him to build house for children in need during his very tight schedule n at his level.. i think, i found myself back. i think, i have been doing my things n am acting rights. at least, i feel happy n i agree what he doing is good for ownself, ppl, n society. confused for the whole day, i get myself released now ^_^ u can be rich, u can be educated, u can have power n authority, pls have a attitude that EVERYONE can easy to get close with u or at least, an attitude that can let ppl RESPECT u as who u r.

LIFE

in the office. having sore throat, headache, fever. then just started coughing. all come in a package :( staying in the office, prepared the write-up for voluntary jobs that i went in last year. then, my tears falling down when i wrote this ‘terima kasih banyak banyak, anak anak lain yang tolong pakcik bersihkan rumah, anak anak pakcik pun tak datang jenguk pakcik lepas banjir ni’ the pakcik tears dropping and looking far. i end the write up with We may live more happier, if we have less choices in this life. i miss voluntary and charity activities..

going back home soon. u called up n tell me to plan to visit your grandma n parents at johore. i dont feel to let bbb feeling too tired. afraid they will get sick after the travel, then my mum n kakak would feel tired n difficult to take care them. u r ok to go by your own. i'll take care them after we check out from cyverview. or can u pls reserve this weekend to only our bbb? u have too much to catch up with them. 2 days are too short for them to stay with u, to feel the love of their dad. next time pls plan for longer holidays, then you can spend more time with bbb and your parents.

i have rescheduled my photography course, to have more time with u. cant wait to see u at tomolo night ^_^

see u tomorrow~~~