contact pic

since nana asked me about the pic on what i wore yesterday, hehe nah, shared the pic with u. malu malu la.. the pic taken at kl sentral erl station. just after work, memang tired look :p

michie

contact pic for laogong's number, i took it last year end. with netops department uniform. since now i am not netops staff anymore, after the recent transformation reorg, then last nite, i took another new pic. hehe.. in the train.

from this to >>>> this ^_^

baby gender or health?

this made me sad. see, anything can be happened. so, pls dont hate yourself or hate your baby bcoz the baby is not the gender as your desired. whether if bb gal or bb boy, as long as they are complete n healthy, love u n care u when u r old, why care so much? they are lots ppl out there whishing, praying for bb. they are many ppl gone thru the hurting process to try to get conceive. but why still have lots more ppl out there, throw own bb, hurt own bb...

if we dont appreciate what we are given n having, we wont be reach true happiness n satisfaction in life. last week, junie asked me dont get down bcoz of the office transformation, 'maybe the other floor kakak is much better than the one in level 13a' i told junie, this is not right for me to think that way, if i have that thought, means that am not appreciated what i am having now. always looking for something better or waiting for something better out there. it can be yes, or no.

we hurt ppl, we r not happy, we r greedy, bcoz of we dont see what we are having now. we always see what is lacking in ourselves. in my pep program class, the master said, in order to reach true happiness in life, is not sucess, but satisfaction.

hmm a bit geram here. coz i always read pregnancy forum talking about baby gender, then before the baby get delivered, the mummy already feel sad about the baby existence. sad.

good morning ^_^

lets start this blog with a warm :D

today, my breakfast is soya bean milk + a lemongrass sweets

today, am going to see my new boss. ya, wearing a new shirt, am in blue and skirt with flowers pattern ^_^ just to cheer up myself. i hope my new boss is a good boss. a guy, i can work better with male supervisor than lady boss. however, i dont know my job scope n actual supervisor :S

today, i tell myself, to be strong n be happy no matter what. need to be healthy for myself. yesterday read about this, do everything for u 1st, then only think of the rest. if the 1st one is not alright, the rest will just gone to be not right.

today, i cried in the journey to the office, laogong lend his broad shoulder to me ^_^

today, is 03/03/2009. remember i was in PJ section 14 in year 1998. together with my banting friends, woan ling n chui fern, si ci, celebrated si ci's friend bday. ya, tomolo is chui fern's bday.

today, i want to work hard. less curi tulang :p need to clear many pending job before handover takes place. new boss called me yesterday, asked me to continue working, business as usual, n at the same time, preparing to move my workstation to other location at 20/3/09

today, i read this from indra's facebook feed 'love is forever no one can loose it' i like this. ya.. love is forever. but, is this forever love to be coming from a same person? hmm i would much prefer to get love from my parents, siblings, n shonejay angels.. percentage for unconditional love is much higher than husband-wife, bf-gf relationship.

today, i want to be talkative. laogong said, when i am non stop talking, very zhi-zha, means that i am happy. he likes to see that. hmmm.. later talk to much, irritates ppl pula :p

today, i want to be happy ^_^

the sun

in the morning..

mummy: baby, u see angel's hair..
royee: hehehe gal gal's hair looks like the sun!
mummy: ya, the sun, the hope :D

grandpa 3 years prayer ceremony

this is 1 of the super big event in tiew's family. even we were wearing the same cloths for the ceremony, but compared to the funeral years back, this time, we are in happy n relax mood. ah gong is still in our heart ^_^ since mei asking about the ceremony photos, let me share with u the following photos, which taken by my handphone.

3 generations: white, blue, green

busybody royee, learning new thing..

while waiting for another prayer session

prayer session, spot the greenie royee~

all the daughters..

under the hot sun. right weather for the ceremony

house, car, money.. for ah gong

ready to burn

less than 3 minutes..

felt so sorry to the environment :(

makan makan after the ceremony at restaurant.. hmm 20 tables?

went to the ceremony at the evening after work. royee was at grandma's house. he saw me wearing blue cloths set. 'mummy, u r wearing blue color de, i am wearing green color de, teacher said, if they are not the same, then they are 'different'! (the whole sentence he speaking in mandarin, except colors and 'different') 1st time, he mentioned about 'difference' in english. i got suprised on this. ya, children learning everyday, n this mummy cant be able to catch it.

uncles n unties love to play around with royee. auntie asked 'royee, why only u alone wearing green color shirts, we all wearing blue n white' royee answered 'bu shi (no).. u all are big man, i am small man, small man wearing green color la' i love his logic :p while in the prayer, auntie called, 'royee, royee, why u...' with the sarcastic face, royee said 'i am shone jay thea royee la' our group laughed at this, ya, of course, the shifu in front n papa 'shhhhh!!!!!' :p wondering why, recently he likes to answer ppl any question with his own full name. my parents love to ask this 'royee, why your name is so long de? why shone jay thea royee?' 'my name is very long de la~ because i am shone jay thea royee ma.. cheng luo yi!' love this, sounds like he appreciate his name that given by his papa n mama :p

wife vs gf

hb: can i have another wife?

me: can aa..

hb: why ler?

me: u want another one then go la..

hb: then u ler?

me: i want to be your gf.

hb: why gf? then u cannot make love with leng jai laogong lo..

me: so i wont expect much ma.. when i know u r not belong to me..

hb: do u love me?

me: hmm.

hb: but how? u r my wife, how to be gf?... ok ok, i know what u gonna tell me, divorce right?

me: ya.. i would much prefer to be your gf if u want to have another gal

hb: then children how?

me: children r mine. they follow me.

hb: then u how?

me: what how? i will look for another husband la..

hb: then me ler?

me: my bf la..

hb: then why u need another man?

me: i need a husband to take care me n children ma..

hb: then bf ler?

me: bf? hold hands, watch movie, makan makan, roses n gifts la..

hb: sex?

me: no sex.

hb: why cannot?

me: for u, cannot. coz u have another wife.

hb: for other bf?

me: if u r my husband, n i have a bf, sex can be happened if it is the time to happen..

hb: cannot! why i cannot have u n another wife?

me: i will get jealous..

hb: u dont be jealous la, u r no.1, i love u, i give u everything..

me: then why u need another wife?

hb: for fun :p i know u will let me have 2nd wife..

me: ya!...

hb: (staring at me) i know what u gonna to say.. (kissed me, to shut my mouth off)

hmm a bit childish n silly hor the conversation, especially it happened during sex. it didnt spoil my mood, but my tears dropped. hmmm afraid of losing him. might be. i always complained this, why u like to mention about 2nd wife at the moment when i am happy with u? hmmm.. anyway, it was a great night :* i thanked laogong after it, 'why?' 'coz i mentioned about making love these few days, then now u arranged it for me' 'no la, i love u..' ^_^ whatever la, as long as, he is now with me n am happy with him.. he treating me nice actually, except for the 2nd wife topic. told him that day, can u pls stop 2nd wife topic, i feel this irritates, if u have nomination, then bring her to me.. dont non stop mentioning. hmm..

that day laogong told me, 'if i had rm30k as my salary, i would give u rm20k monthly as your pocket money, it should be more than enough right?' 1st, this came to my mind 'wahhh 20k! can go japan with mehmeh lo~ hmm want to go few times a year or not?' then i diam.. 'dont have enough meh? i left only rm10k for my personal use n household things ooo' i :) at him.. hmm i am not a money-face person. i dont like money. but i like so many travel plans, so many dreams, so many things for bbb... for me, a good husband is not someone who can give me much money, i would prefer a husband who can give me his precious time n LOVE..

while walking to the office, thinking about rm20k, what i want to do with the money har? save some in the bank for bbb, then the rest, hmmm travel with mehmeh to japan n uk. then where else? what to do har? rm20k.. it seems a big amount for me currently.. anyway, when think of i got his 2/3 of income, felt happy also lo.. maybe he told me this when he didnt have this amount of salary, when he got it one day, i tak dapat apa apa pun.. ai..

still keeping laogong word 'i will do to my best, so u wont be willing to leave me in the future' he telling me this with his proud face. wondering what he was thinking, by giving me love or money? hmmm.. stop thinking all this 'if....' appreciate n treasure what am i having now then enough. to stop working in year 2010 still cant be confirmed, wasting time n brain cells to think of future promises :p

laogong, i love u..

twins formula ^_^

hehe.. funny crazzy..

transformation

hmmm just now went to the pantry, saw the tea lady kakak, felt emotional also.. wondering other level kakak will prepare warm drinking water for me or not. will smile at me or not. will be as nice as our kakak here or not....

ps: just after lunch. left my bottle in the pantry. when i went to collect it, a full bottle of warm water. looked at kakak who was mopping the floor, she smiled at me.. so touched.. so.. hmm :~

突然好想你

最怕空气突然安静 最怕朋友突然的关心

最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息 最怕突然听到你的消息

想念如果会有声音 不愿那是悲伤的哭泣

事到如今终於让自已属於我自已 只剩眼泪还骗不过自己

突然好想你 你会在哪里 过的快乐或委屈

突然好想你 突然锋利的回忆 突然模糊的眼睛

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲 变成两部悲伤的电影

为什麽你带我走过最难忘的旅行 然后留下最痛的纪念品

我们那麽甜 那麽美 那麽相信 那麽疯 那麽热烈的曾经

为何我们还是要奔向各自的幸福和遗憾中老去

突然好想你 你会在哪里 过的快乐或委屈

突然好想你 突然锋利的回忆 突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空气突然安静 最怕朋友突然的关心

最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息

最怕突然 听到你的消息

最怕此生已经决定自己过没有你 却又突然听到你的消息
Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

sad sad

major reorg in the office. am going to leave my 2 good friends in the same department n floor level. i really wish there is not major change to our friendship.. hmm..

my vday 2009

sis n i went to subang parade TGI Friday for our valentine's day celebration. a pre-celebration to make us happy before we expect something lovely dovey thingie from our hubbies :p hehe

cheesy yum yum at TGI Friday

salmon pasta.. love it!

grilled chicken breast

chocalate fudge cake

vday deco at subang parade ogawa booth

sis n i have ordered this.. for fun? :p

on the valentine's day.

berly's homemade chocalate to laogong

laogong chose the heart-shaped choc, and each of us taken half :*

my so called 'candle light vday meal' :p nice dim sum at klang bandar bukit tinggi

hubby was looking for angels slippers at the park.

the slippers left at the park hmmm a week before

this made me think of a man searching for his thing at the brighter room instead of the dark place where he lost the thing :S

no fear in love

主耶稣我感谢你 你的身体为我而舍

带我出黑暗进入光明国度 使我再次能看见

主耶稣我感谢你 你的宝血为我而流

宝贵十架上医治恩典涌流 使我完全得自由

宝贵十架的大能赐我生命 主耶稣我俯伏敬拜你

宝贵十架的救恩 是你所立的约 你的爱永远不会改变

am listening to this song. just reached the office a while ago. this morning me n laogong wearing the same brown color shirts ^_^ talking about the movie that we watched yesterday in the cinema 'the curious case of benjamin button' with the tagline 'Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments'. i asked laogong what he got from the movie, he told me, few things, 1 of them was change the situation if u know it is not going to bring u happiness or not worth for trying. for me, i got this, existance of love for a man n a woman, timing are the crucial element to bring meaning and percentage of right feel towards the relationship.

smart laogong knew what i was thinking. yes, i think of the special him in my life. i shared some inner feeling to laogong this morning. no pressure no jealousy no hurt, thanks laogong. suddenly laogong mentioned 'if u know what u going to do will be a fault or failure, would u ever want to continue doing it?' let me guess, i think laogong is indirectly telling me, what he is always trying to do something special for me, or showing his love to me, most of the time, he flet disspointed. maybe of my attitude or he shows his love at wrong timing, or not at the way that i can accept n interpret. i didnt answer much to his question, i just said 'thomas edison never say he had failed 1000 times for creating the bulb, he told ppl he has found 1000 wrong ways of creating the bulb'

laogong smiled at me n left the train. just hoping he got what i was telling to convey to him. i hope he can understand more what i have been thinking n asking for. thanks for the movie, that brings good moment n inspirations to both of us. i just wanted to share this to laogong..

1 john 4:18: There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love

2002.2009

am i on track? reviewed some of the BIG goals that i had set in 2 Jan 2007, something like if i have extra money..

open saving accounts for bbb - done

buy another car - i didnt buy a small car, but another bigger house

buy ikea foldable bed for royee - done. n i bought the same beds for angels as well. together with basic room setting for bbb :)

buy a desktop pc - laogong bought me a laptop in y2008, n he used my previous laptop. will buy a desktop pc once reading room set up in bkt31

stop working in y2010 or latest y2012 - the BIGGEST goal as for now. this is not mainly on financial aspect consideration, but time spent in a house as housewife, more patience with bbb and all house chores, contact with external world, coworker, my outlook, my thinking, hubby's feeling.. y2010, would be next year, as of last nite, i have set up my mind and prepare n working towards this goal. this time, lets target in y2010 - bring bbb start new kinder school at klang. royee would be age 5, is better for him to accommodate himself in the new environment at early age 5, n not age 6. afraid this would affect his learning passion in the new kinder.

hubby is ready for this mentally. we gonna sort out income issue. of course, with more monthly income we can have easier life; on the other hand, we need to somehow sacrifice for bbb, to let them have love security and at least mummy's teaching. they are growing fast, n learning n absorbing new words n ideas everyday. sometime, i find it is too late for me to tell 'no, mummy feels sad when u speaking like this' coz my time is only in the office. i need time to spend with them n guide them to the road immediately, where, i hope they grow in a positive way.

yesterday, i have started looking for teaching aid for preschooler and kinder students. i need to prepare this before i stop working. at the same time, i have a thought, i can take care 1 or 2 kinder student for few hours a day for extra income :p or i can be driver, to pick up bbb's classmates who staying nearby. in fact, i have few more household income plans in my mind, i wont stop working n staying home just to take care children. i definitely will look for side income, what i need is flexible time table so i can stay with bbb. bbb are about the same age, if i can teach them their homework, no tuition class, then it would be great saving for me too.

now am searching info for some kinder in bukit tinggi klang. am not sure if i manage to stop working in this year end, anyway, just preparing for it. no harm. so, cannot simply spend money for fun lo. need to save more now :p maybe, simple birthday celebration for hubby is enough. ya, home cook for him :)

last nite i talked to royee.

mummy: royee, if mummy everyday stays with u and take care u at home, ok ma?

royee: when?

mummy: everyday la..

royee: mummy u r sick? sick for many many days? so u dont need to work?

(hahaha.. pity boy, he can only have mummy to stay with him when mummy taking medical leave)

mummy: no la, how old r u right now?

(royee showed 4 fingers)

mummy: ya, now u are 4, so when u are 5 years old, mummy stop working, and everyday staying at home, dont need to go to work and take care you and gal gal lo..

royee: then papa ler?

mummy: papa go out n work lo.. only mummy stay at home..

royee: oooo mummy got a lot of money already is it?

mummy: (hahaha.. cute!) not really, but mummy want to stay with u all ma.. we change to a new school ok?

royee: no! i cannot change to different school! i still dont know english yet. bu ke yi de!

mummy: then how? mummy gonna stay in bukit tinggi ooo.. then how to see u? come la, we change to the new school, where the school will teach u english and mandarin, then mummy send u to the school, n pick u up.. then mummy teach u to do homework and watch tv with u..

royee: gal gal ler?

mummy: gal gal also come with us la, all change to the new school la.. ok ma?

royee: hmmm (think for a while) ok.

my royee is cute n yet serious :) love him. in fact, i feel the uncertainty of the future.. days when i stay at home only. i love children, but i love information and new learning n knowledge. just let it flow... just hoping laogong can earn more, give us stable living, love us more, care us more.. hehe am so greedy for everything. just hoping y2010 would be a better year :)

i havent sit down for y2009 goals. i have all the to-do list, for goal, maybe i want to have a rest, after y2007 and y2008 list of goals to be achieved, for year 2009, only 1 main one 'change myself' inner me, outer me.. my friend said 'yes, pls change yourself, dont get ppl bully anymore' hehehe.. am learning to say 'no' (but i say this word a lot to bbb :p) and stop letting ppl bully me? hmmm as what the pep trainer told me, maybe this is nature of me. the background of my family and education. and good friends said 'mich, u dont need to change, u r good n nice, just be yourself' :) well, i will change everything for myself, make myself happy 1st then only think of other ppl.. at least, i wont let bbb look me down. i will work hard to let them be proud of me :)

Quiet moment

3am+ eva asked for milk. Then till now, i been staying awake. Cant fall asleep hmm. Today need to reach the office earlier than normal day, coz i need to leave the office at 5pm so i can only manage to be at ah gong's house for prayer at 6 or 7pm.

Last nite i slept early, after buaikan bbb sleep. Was so tired. N i knew i was being moody to laogong. For nothing? Not really, just feeling down when he promised to sleepkan bb together with me, but he forgot? N reading papers in the hall. I was so tired n sleepy, both royee n angel were active still. Hmm i slept with black face to hubby. Didnt want his massage offer :( though i like his recent learnt body massage. Not when i am having down mood with him. Ai.

Will be on leave tomorrow. Hope the weather would be nice for the outdoor prayer n activity. Am still feeling not well, hope tomorrow weather wont make my flu n fever worse. Hate to being sick recently, coz i cant rest well at home, bbb can dance on my pillow while i sleep n rest, n afraid they kena from me then somemore tired to take care of them when they are sick.

Hubby told me 'u know why i dont like to read your blog? Coz they are negative, your posts made me down' hmm i dont think this is right, coz i do post many travel n bbb pictures n stories. Maybe it just an excuse for not visiting my blog. Hmm.. Whatever, i just want to keep record n memory here, n hope 1day, bbb can read my posts by their own :)

best valentine

love lies today

comes when u

wake up to find

that love still colours

your world thru family and frenz

who truly come and never fail to remember u

happy valentine's dear

'u r my best valentine. good nite sweet dreams' thanks, this sweethern my nite with full of uncertainty about my life, my love :)

if

If a picture paints a thousand words,

Then why can't I paint you?

The words will never show the you I've come to know.

If a face could launch a thousand ships,

Then where am I to go?

There's no one home but you,

You're all that's left me too.

And when my love for life is running dry,

You come and pour yourself on me.

If a man could be two places at one time,

I'd be with you.

Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.

If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,

I'd spend the end with you.

And when the world was through,

Then one by one the stars would all go out,

Then you and I would simply fly away

feel to listen to this song. this song been playing in my mind when i stepped in the office this morning.. hmm wonder why..

after school

mc at home. felt so tired n sleepy. n bbb were coming back from kinder. wow, non stop hearing they all 'po po.. po po' calling my mum. then my mum asked them to wash their hands. then 1 bowl of chicken rice for each of them. royee wanted only the green bowl. since when he had changed his favorite colors from red to green? thye were so enjoying eating the rice!! even i was so tired to walk, i went back to the room n took the camera, n took few snaps for the cutie pic :) love them~

eva n royee

they are so adorable~

midnite eva~

was sick. having fever n flu. in the midnight, eva crying, i let her slept with me on the bed. she might sleep early in the night before, she was awake. then suddenly, i saw eva with all her stuff n closing the room door. i followed her.

left her dora, chou chou, blanket on the sofa

she started playing the blocks n bricks alone

i was so sleepy..

n it was 3am+ @_@

i couldnt stand on it anymore, so i left her playing alone. switched on the fan for her, then i went back to the room. praying that no one would kidnap my lovely eva then i felt asleep. didnt know how long it was, suddenly eva came to me 'mummy..' then i carried her to sleep on my bed, then we slept together.. hmmm

quality time

lunch at sooka

sis was on mc. after her checkup at sjmc, she took komuter train to kl sentral n looked for me for lunch. what a happy lunch date :)

ya, sis is sick @_@

killiney kopitiam - mee siam

kaya butter toast.. i like this :)

today special - mushroom chicken

zen - apply crumbles..?

green tea cheese cake

my dearest sis

n me!