All for them

Just read through a blog log of a 12 years old girl undergoing her chemotherapy and the journey of cancer fighting. As a parent, I feel sorry for her. Not easy to get through to cope with daily result and side effects of medical treatment. Hours that spend daily in the hospital, with all the machines and medical report.. Not easy. How about the parents? Not only talking about time and money spent, but the heart broken moment when see the dearly child in pain, in doubt, in losing the child-filled fun time.

Sometime when I come across those children are not healthy or complete born, how their parents putting in all love and time for the little one, the parents for not giving up the children and situation. Salute the effort. If the same thing that happen to me, how would I handle and overcome all the obstacles and weak faith?

I don't know.. I don't have idea on what would I do, how far I would sacrifice for my children, how strong I would be if anything happen to my children.. As I am trying to hide myself for my children not-fully-recovered physical condition...

Angel's eye seems coming back with double vision. Her left hand fingers are not being well treated. Lately she got sensitive emotion that caused her not easy to compromise many things. She cries over little tiny stuff and issues.

Last Sunday, I got the department head of Sunday School have a private chat with me. I shared about angel's body development and what I am facing lately at home. A 30min 1-1 chat, I thank the teachers for putting angel in their prayers. What I got from the conversation is, a strong reminder - it's time you need to put in effort to the girl development physically and emotionally. It is not easy, a lot of patience and care needed. Try to make the change before she reaches adolescence. It is a hard time for you, but we do all these for our children. You must sacrifice for her.

What stroke me after the conversation was, I didn't put my children physical and emotional need in my prayer. I don't seeking God's guidance which is clear enough, I want my girl's finger can move freely, I want my girls' eyes fully recovered... Things won't happen, if we solve the problems with our own limited knowledge and weak power.

It is time, to calm down, to pause and listen to God's guidance in what need to be done, what should I do, what my children need most now..




Ps:
Feeling weak after typing this post. I don't have confidence in making my children to perfection or help them to get they want to.



Don't know where shall I start now...

Till then, good Tuesday.
I need a cup of coffee now.