mixed

I am now out from the house, aimless, hopeless, directionless :(



raining day, alone in the car. at a hypermarket parking lot. I am just blank. no cry. no smile. sad.

suppose to go for a talk - a children-picture-book reading talk. thought of learning better way to help children love reading in effective ways.




recall what royee complaining about I always go out not staying at home.. my heart is broken.


I didn't go out for fun. Friday night I went out to the bookstore to buy material for my sewing project, then go supermarket to buy some home grocery. saturday I only out to trim my hair and angel's hair, then afternoon I bring angel to her ballet class.



so I decided to stay at home tonight I let bbb see me at home. just be there for them, and sing to make them sleep. what children want is very simple. what we need to give is - time. thus, I asked laogong to go for the talk, since he likes to read too. since he is the father to my bbb, children education he needs to pay part too.

at 1st laogong was ok. then not ok, then we quarrel for nothing. then I being quiet he gets angry... my grandma and auntie staying overnight at my house suddenly, so many adults at home, I don't want to make movie in front of them. the more I stay silent, the more laogong talk louder.

I just out from the house. thought of forget about the stupid laogong :( and go for the talk. while driving, royee's words floating in my mind 'who are you going out with again?! always go out, not a single day you are at home!' frankly, my heart is broken I am so sad so regret so sorry, but I just don't know how should I do. 'mummy going out for a talk'. my mum helping royee wash the smelly head.. why I can't be with my son even on weekend? why my gals can say worried of forget about me coz I always come back home late?

is the talk so important? the initial intention to go to this talk is because of my children. besides, I am not having extra money to pay for the fee but not going for the talk. but driving in the middle of the road with the rain pouring down.. I just feel lost! I miss my children, I miss to share my feeling with my sis, I want to yell t my laogong loudly from my deep frustration, I just want to be home with my children!

19:01 the talk has been started I guess. am still in the car. the rain has stopped. but my feeling is still so mixed. am tired. tired of explaining how tired I am to laogong when he thought only he alone is the busyman for the family. I work, I take care gals, I take care my parents my siblings too. I really hope, children grow up faster, they have ability to take care of me, and with their love to me, then we all travel around te world together.

0504 Thursday lo!

good morning! :D


found this from Facebook. the steps look simple and easy to do right? will get my children to try on this ^^

ya, left house early today with Eva when angel was still sleeping. 8am received missed call from home. wonder if angel crying for not seeing mummy? but for today I can't wait for these 2 gals slow motion. I want to transfer my money from 1 bank to another bank. been dragging it for weeks..

been sick since saturday night, don't have appetite but I do feel hungry. having hot chicken porridge now. stomach bloated serious since last night. hmmm many discomfort symptoms nowadays.




last night jokingly I asked my digo when his baby gonna coming out? digo said he wish the baby coming out soon so he can save at least 1 time pregnancy check expenses :D most of us are having financial pressure nowadays, especially when come to family members issue. but maybe digo won't know, when baby come out, the matters to handle and expenses to spend, gonna e another big headache :p



hmmm 3 sewing homework are pending at me... I been busy on other sewing project for my digo's baby hmmm.. feel embarrassed when my children ask me 'mummy, have you submitted your homework? later your teacher scold you aaaa' ya.. my plan is, get at least 1 done by this weekend :p






2 blankets for my soon to come tiew nephew ^^

day 74

just posted something on my fb wall..


if royee was in a school where creativity freedom is allowed, then his talkative and friendly manner can bring him more benefits than current situation, punishment just to make you being quiet.



got this from angel's homework, I asked what is 'mc' she told me, mummy's office la.. ohhh!! maxis :p


laying on the bed, suddenly think of this 'hey! still no period yet!' today is day 74.. sometime I just wonder, was my last period = the final period in my life?



well.. bday coming soon. I asked royee to buy me chatime milk tea as my bday gift ^^ he is working hard to save rm5.90 in 2 weeks :D

earth hour 2012

this is the 2nd year, I spend the day with my bbb.


we made this together :)


set up our laptop and tv


we prepared food too!


3 sets for bbb, 1 for maid sister


last year we have it in the living room, now in the master room. btw, see me got the cupping - ba guan mark :p


ok, it is about 8.30pm


we get gogo to switch off the light at 8:30pm sharp^


do you see 2.0.1.2? we do a prayer to start off our 1 hour earth hour :)


last year with YouTube, this year too. 1st video is official 2012 earth hour video.


we definitely need to do more..


coz our children need hope for better tomorrow!

a day off 0204

I spent a day full-programme-planned annual leave to sleep at home! coz I got fever and flu in weekend :~

not going anywhere, children spent their special Ching-Ming holiday at home. sad.



Eva read gogo's std 1 book


can read very well and make song for the paragraph


Eva copies story book too..


and asked her to write in her own room with sunlight..




angel do this macam macam


see me snap photo of her faster hide :)


eat rice just like this when mama preparing dinner..


eat quite a lot. when actual dinner time she is full :(


the boy eat and eat only..


eating tgv pop corn..



hot day, they boy half naked at home


size is not big but berisi jugak :)

28032012 special!

wonder why this is still in my draft blog folder.. repost on 29.03 :)

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today is a very special day in my life!





my papa's birthday!


a drawing from royee ^^ can you see the very mini daddy at far away :p


ya, today is the day, my laogong asked me to be his girl friend back in 11 years ago :)
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well, sis complaining no blog from me.. since last friday, I have been busy...



busy in work, busy in sorting out what I want, busy in recovering my feeling..


busy at home, busy this and that..



conclusion for these few days is I choose to be poor in the pocket but rich in the heart :)






btw, thanks Mei for the mms this morning ^^

sweet 28032012

papa 62 birthday ^^







































we can't give back the ocean deep love parents given to us throughout these years, we can't pay back how much effort and money they spent for us.. what we can give is our little more time slots, to chat with them, to laugh with them, to listen to them, to let them feel we are here for them. any other thing is more precious and valuable than having a good and harmony family gathering and let papa and mama know, we love them and thank them for everything that can't be described by words :)