永恒 eternity

尘埃的旅行 谁摄影过它辗转的轨迹

上帝的呼吸 动作轻轻地让人们苏醒

计算着世纪 谁能告诉我永恒在哪里

天上的恒星 就是上帝给我们的指引

时间的河流 细水如何长流

人世间有太多贪求需要被拯救

未来的光景 谁能永垂不朽

失去了灵魂像梦游 尘埃瞬间就腐朽

listening to this song, a lovely peaceful song. love it. last nite was the 3rd night i saw a sky of stars~ had been hoping to see stars for months. then last week n last nite i have seen them. how i wish i can stop the car n look up to the sky in the stary night. laogong asked me last nite, why dont u just stopped at the roadside? hmmm i would much prefer to see the stars at the seaside. i hope, this coming love outing, it would be a starry night *********

i told laogong this. the stars are always there. just we cant see them n we dont see them. then we chase the stars, we look around for the best spot to see the starry stars (googled it, best spot is at africa, need further study). in fact, the stars are there, but we continue chasing. when we see stars, we feel happy n peaceful. in our lives, the happiness are there right beside us, surrounding us, we dont see them or we tend to neglect or ignore them, then we thot we dont have the happiness, then we go n look for it. when we are busy, just like the daylight covering the stars, why dont we settle down, turn our mood to peaceful quiet night, like the day turn to the night, then we would see the stars.

be humble, be thankful, treasure what we are having.. then let God bring us eternity love ^_^

where is happiness?

feel so touched to receive the envelop from my kawan nana. so touch! terharu u know, speechless.. felt to hug nana when i saw this :~ of course, there is office doc inside the envelop :p bad, my camera got no battery today :( so only snapped the pic with my handphone. in fact, thanks nana for giving me little surprise once a while like this, i keep all these envelopes ^_^ they are LOVE to me.. full of friendship love :* thanks nana xoxo

our genting outing pic

honestly, today i am a bit down. bad hair day i think. at the same time, i feel love. thanks friends n sis. they are many ppl around me love me n care about me, i think, i need to refresh myself, there is no reason for my to be down since i have so much love. right? to those we concern about me, worried me, love me... dont worry, i am doing alright here :)

But whatever is I want you to be happy. You r the sunshine to us :) - arputha

got this from a forwarded mail.. share with u all..

One day, the young lion asked his mom: "Mom, where is the happiness?"Mom replied: "It's on your tail." So the young lion keeps on chasing after his tail. But after a whole day of trying, he failed to get the happiness that was on his tail.Then he told his mom about this, his mom smiled and said: "Son, you don't really need to chase after your happiness, as long as you keep going and moving forward, your happiness will always be with you."

You can't decide the length of life, but you can control how you want to live it.

You can't control the weather, but you can control your mood.

You can't change your look, but you can smile.

You can't control others, but you can control yourself.

You can't foresee tomorrow, but you can utilize today wisely.

You can't win everything, but you can try your very best to achieve that..

Hope everyone can face the daily life positively and always happy...

生命的河流

主爱如江河，流向我的心
洗去忧伤，安慰我心灵
耶稣是真光，照耀生命
齐来敬拜他，全能上帝
圣灵如风，吹进我的心
赐我能力，更新我的灵
耶稣是拯救，赐新生命
齐来传扬他，荣耀主名
流啊流啊流，流到我心头
唱呀唱呀唱，唱着赞美歌
流啊流啊流，流到我心头
唱呀唱呀唱，唱着赞美歌

am listening to this song. feel the strength to start my day ^_^ river of life.. ya, life has up n down. challenges make us stronger, changes allow us to see the beauty of life. take risk, stretch beyond what u think u can do! well.. now i feel secure with my new job, just sent my current job scope to my new supervisor. a chinese man. soft spoken n humble. hope i would be working happily at the new place with his supervision. few heart to heart talks with laogong these days, i have different definition on our love relationships. the more i know him, the more i love him, the more i afraid of losing him, the more i treasure the days when we r together :)

feeling guilty for not company royee's on his 1st home work. teacher asked to write big n small capital 'B'. my mum wanted to teach him, royee said want to wait for mama to teach him. then when i reached home, it was nearly 10pm. royee slept. this morning, he was sleeping when i leave the house to work. i failed in bb's 1st home work, can i do it better in the coming one? i dont know, as long as i work in the office, sharing car with laogong, i cant control much on my daily schedule. i need to work out something on this. so many confusion n conflicts in my mind.

i got this in my mind last nite 'u r not only hurting me, u r destroying me' this can mean to all the arrows came towards me n my simple life. but, i want to be sunflower, heading to my sun ~@~

2002.2009

am i on track? reviewed some of the BIG goals that i had set in 2 Jan 2007, something like if i have extra money..

open saving accounts for bbb - done

buy another car - i didnt buy a small car, but another bigger house

buy ikea foldable bed for royee - done. n i bought the same beds for angels as well. together with basic room setting for bbb :)

buy a desktop pc - laogong bought me a laptop in y2008, n he used my previous laptop. will buy a desktop pc once reading room set up in bkt31

stop working in y2010 or latest y2012 - the BIGGEST goal as for now. this is not mainly on financial aspect consideration, but time spent in a house as housewife, more patience with bbb and all house chores, contact with external world, coworker, my outlook, my thinking, hubby's feeling.. y2010, would be next year, as of last nite, i have set up my mind and prepare n working towards this goal. this time, lets target in y2010 - bring bbb start new kinder school at klang. royee would be age 5, is better for him to accommodate himself in the new environment at early age 5, n not age 6. afraid this would affect his learning passion in the new kinder.

hubby is ready for this mentally. we gonna sort out income issue. of course, with more monthly income we can have easier life; on the other hand, we need to somehow sacrifice for bbb, to let them have love security and at least mummy's teaching. they are growing fast, n learning n absorbing new words n ideas everyday. sometime, i find it is too late for me to tell 'no, mummy feels sad when u speaking like this' coz my time is only in the office. i need time to spend with them n guide them to the road immediately, where, i hope they grow in a positive way.

yesterday, i have started looking for teaching aid for preschooler and kinder students. i need to prepare this before i stop working. at the same time, i have a thought, i can take care 1 or 2 kinder student for few hours a day for extra income :p or i can be driver, to pick up bbb's classmates who staying nearby. in fact, i have few more household income plans in my mind, i wont stop working n staying home just to take care children. i definitely will look for side income, what i need is flexible time table so i can stay with bbb. bbb are about the same age, if i can teach them their homework, no tuition class, then it would be great saving for me too.

now am searching info for some kinder in bukit tinggi klang. am not sure if i manage to stop working in this year end, anyway, just preparing for it. no harm. so, cannot simply spend money for fun lo. need to save more now :p maybe, simple birthday celebration for hubby is enough. ya, home cook for him :)

last nite i talked to royee.

mummy: royee, if mummy everyday stays with u and take care u at home, ok ma?

royee: when?

mummy: everyday la..

royee: mummy u r sick? sick for many many days? so u dont need to work?

(hahaha.. pity boy, he can only have mummy to stay with him when mummy taking medical leave)

mummy: no la, how old r u right now?

(royee showed 4 fingers)

mummy: ya, now u are 4, so when u are 5 years old, mummy stop working, and everyday staying at home, dont need to go to work and take care you and gal gal lo..

royee: then papa ler?

mummy: papa go out n work lo.. only mummy stay at home..

royee: oooo mummy got a lot of money already is it?

mummy: (hahaha.. cute!) not really, but mummy want to stay with u all ma.. we change to a new school ok?

royee: no! i cannot change to different school! i still dont know english yet. bu ke yi de!

mummy: then how? mummy gonna stay in bukit tinggi ooo.. then how to see u? come la, we change to the new school, where the school will teach u english and mandarin, then mummy send u to the school, n pick u up.. then mummy teach u to do homework and watch tv with u..

royee: gal gal ler?

mummy: gal gal also come with us la, all change to the new school la.. ok ma?

royee: hmmm (think for a while) ok.

my royee is cute n yet serious :) love him. in fact, i feel the uncertainty of the future.. days when i stay at home only. i love children, but i love information and new learning n knowledge. just let it flow... just hoping laogong can earn more, give us stable living, love us more, care us more.. hehe am so greedy for everything. just hoping y2010 would be a better year :)

i havent sit down for y2009 goals. i have all the to-do list, for goal, maybe i want to have a rest, after y2007 and y2008 list of goals to be achieved, for year 2009, only 1 main one 'change myself' inner me, outer me.. my friend said 'yes, pls change yourself, dont get ppl bully anymore' hehehe.. am learning to say 'no' (but i say this word a lot to bbb :p) and stop letting ppl bully me? hmmm as what the pep trainer told me, maybe this is nature of me. the background of my family and education. and good friends said 'mich, u dont need to change, u r good n nice, just be yourself' :) well, i will change everything for myself, make myself happy 1st then only think of other ppl.. at least, i wont let bbb look me down. i will work hard to let them be proud of me :)

another bb

maybe, to laogong, another bb means only another responsibily n commitment. for me, on top of these, the bb would definitely come with more love, joy, touch. hmm.. only this dream, i would not be able to achieve it, if, laogong doesnt want it to become true. never ever.. so far, this is my regret i am having it, that may bring till my old age.

1 day

1 day, I may take bus from putrajya to banting.
1 day, I may just leave home for short vacation.
1 day, I may just leave u, without any notice.
1 day, I may just release myself, n fly towards to heaven. ^_^

new time table

u r here with me. staying together everyday. now both of us need to adapt to the new daily time table. 6am wake up n prepare ourselves to work. try to catch up time to play with bbb while changing cloths n putting up basic skin care. leave house at 7am+ catch the 8.05am train at putrajaya. peak hour, no seat for us, standing n chatting. reach kl sentral at 8:25am, u take LRT train to klcc n i go to 7-11 to buy bread for breakfast n dinner. i reach the office before 9am. u always have evening meeting, we try to catch 8pm train, so we can have a little more time to spend with bbb. but then, normally we can only manage to catch 8:30pm or 9pm train. sharing bread in the train. then reach house normally 10pm+ take bath then prepare to sleep. reading newspaper or online internet before sleeping for u.

hmmm this is our new time table. normally bbb sleep when we reach home. hmmm.. for me, more than 12 hours i need to stay in the office. now is year end, a bit busy in the office, so am still ok with this. i work OT while waiting for u. for next month, i think i will sign up the gym class nearby, so i can workout while waiting for u. sad thing is, i have only weekend can play with bbb. that's why, i cancel a lot of weekend programs n dinner invitation. bcoz i have only 2 days to stay with bbb.

hope u r happy with the days over here. i am happy to stay with u. as i told my colleague, my year 2009 wish is, i can have u to stay with me n bbb everyday. ya everyday. with your heart n love stay with us as well :)

looking forward for the kuantan trip this weekend, i really need to go out to relax myself. n hope bbb will enjoy the trip as well.

Hmm

On the bed. So many queries hoping to be answered. I wish i could see n read ppl mind. To escape. Am wanting that. To release myself. Yes, i am very tired. My mind is busy, non stop thinking of so many things. I feel to cry. I feel to shout out loud! Wondering why so many different feeling come up at once. Exhausting.

busy

i am busy. my schedule is busy, my mind is busy. hmmm wondering why, is it because of year end? everything to be done before new year coming? all goals must be met n achieved with flying colors? hmm night before i received message from my eldest bro, gogo asked 'r u busy recently?' what a shock question to me. ya, why i seem to have no enough time for what i want to do, i can even reply ppl sms in the same day. no time for blog too. 2 weeks ago weekend pictures, has no time to upload n share with u. n no email to u too except catching up time to chat with u online during your free time at china.

hmm 3rd week of november. on 11/11/2008, my colleague asked, what u have achieved so far in this year? i said ya, i have all my children staying together with me, i have bought n move to the new house. i have done more good n charity work from home n to ppl around me. what i have not achieved? education plan for my 3 children (no time to sit down n think about it, n need to recheck our financial status), take family studio photo (u r not around, hard to fix the time). anyway, i am happy with my year 2008. 1 mth+ to go, hope everything goes well ^_^